Ok. I've got a dirty little secret.
You didn't know this...but...I'm a total flake.
Not the "I forget my car keys every.single.day" kind of flake (well, ok...fine...I'm flaky in that way, too).
What I'm talking about is flaky, dry skin. I'm basically covered in them, which makes me, by association, a huge flake.
Maybe you have it, too, but you're too embarrassed to tell anyone about, because it's disgusting. (I'm totally too embarrassed to tell anyone...but since you can't see my face, I might as well get it off my chest and at least tell YOU)
You know...the kind where you're in the shower, and you scratch your skin with your fingernails and a bunch of white stuff comes off? Sometimes it's grayish, too.
But it's like...I don't know...cottage cheese under your fingernails nail or something.
I could seriously just scratch myself and make a flaky skin sculpture out of it (which would only be worth it if there was some kind of contest I could enter to win a prize...coolest skin sculpture anyone? #gross)
Since I'm not into making artwork out of dead skin...I tried to find a solution besides just scratching every inch of myself with my fingernails.
Coming out of the shower looking like you've been mauled by a bear is NOT sexy.
Well, ok, I didn't exactly TRY to find a solution.
The solution came to me.
One day, I was traveling in South America, and decided to get in a river that may or may not have been swarming with piranhas. (Good news- it wasn't)
Some women were in there, picking rocks up out of the river and rubbing them on their bodies. I asked one of them, in my tex-mex sounding Spanish, what she was doing.
She told me the rocks were exfoliating and made your skin super smooth.
That's when a light bulb went off...and I knew I NEEDED one of those rocks.
I couldn't exactly fill my whole suitcase with river rocks and bring them on the plane...I'm sure I'd be stopped at customs and questioned about my potential lack of sanity.
But luckily I found a rock that works just as well as those exotic river rocks.
I just rub it on my body...feet...hands...everything. Except for my face.
Don't ever rub it on your face. Remember that mauled by a bear look that I mentioned earlier? It works...but your facial skin is so sensitive that it's not a good idea to rub a rock on it.
Everything else though...ahhh...life changing.
My feet are beautiful and my skin feels smooth...
...hello tinder dates and handshakes. Maybe I'll even play a game of footsie.
This rock right here is amazing, and lasts forever, plus free shipping with amazon prime:
I've had mine for over a year and it's still going strong.
Not to mention, my skin is no longer dull. It's totally revived and radiant. Now all I have left to work on is my dull personality...
...unfortunately, this rock doesn't solve that.